Changes

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

- J.R.R. Tolkien, "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" 

Sometimes things need to change.
That is now the theme of my life, or at least has been since about the end of February until now, hence why I haven't updated in so long. But that will change and as Tolkien put it perfectly for all who want to travel and expand their own personal world, "Not all those who wander are lost."

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A quick break down of everything that has happened since February until now goes like this, my living situation changed dramatically, as did my relationship, by no cause of our own we had to part ways leaving me with many questions as to how to proceed so I did the only thing I could do to help myself and that was to find a new goal.

My new goal has become this: to return to Italy and start a new life, a new chapter, a new beginning, and to leave my worries, problems, stresses, and depression behind me. So at the beginning of the summer I found a job at a vegetarian/vegan restaurant and a babysitting (twins!) gig. I ended up quitting the restaurant job and now just focus on babysitting on a fairly regular basis and sewing as often as I can bring myself to.

In the middle of the summer I started looking for ways to move to Italy through different jobs and finally settling on the idea of working as an au pair. So I created a profile on an au pair website and sent messages to around 20+ different people and finally found my match in my future au pair/host family in Milan, Italy.

I have stashed away as much money as I can in the past several months, bought my ticket a few months ago and have been planning and preparing for my impending departure on January 8th, 2013.

I still have a lot that I need to get to (finalizing my working contract, buying all necessary electronics to feel like I am still somewhat connected to my American family, friends, and life, getting luggage arranged, health insurance, travel shots, exchanging dollars for euors, buying snow friendly clothing, because as a native Los Angeles woman I have no idea how to dress for such weather, and everything else I've already forgotten) but mentally I feel that I am ready for this departure and major life change. I plan on staying for a minimum of 6 months-maximum of 1 year, so by no means is that a short amount of time abroad.

I know it will be hard and challenging (especially being an au pair to two girls, ages 6 and 10, who don't speak a word of English and me with my infant level of Italian vocabulary and grammar) but I feel like this is something I need to do. This past year has been hard on me mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically, so I think it's time to check out and check into my Italian life away from home, safety, and the comfort of my American lifestyle.

So, reading this I hope you now understand what direction I plan on taking this blog. I want to help other au pairs out there, people wondering if they should do this (because, believe me, this was not an easy decision), I can tell you right now, I don't know if I'm making the right decision, I don't know if I'm going to regret this all a few months after being there, I really don't know. But I plan on discovering that all on my own, in my own time, and in my own way. There really is a huge lack of blogs and personal experiences out there that are easily accessible for people like me to find and help them make their own decision concerning this sort of life changing moment, so I'd like to try to help that.
I hope to accurately record the horrible moments, the good moments, the really frightening moments, to the really great and wonderful moments. All of it, here for you to see and think for yourself is this is something you might want to do.

As of today I am t-minus 46 days until I drive over to LAX and say "ARRIVEDERCI!"  to America, and "CIAO!" once again to my beautiful italia.